It’s not all business. It’s about community!

Last Sunday, a large room at a local Library filled up with veteran homeschoolers, homeschool resource people, and seekers of information. Hosting the gathering was the royalty of local homeschooling, Stephanie Brown Hood of Peach Blossom School (PSP). She’s earned the title as the go-to source of information for homeschooling in the Bay Area for well over a decade, and with her belief in giving back, paying it forward, and providing answers to new and long-time homeschool families. And though her own teaching has been religiously rooted, her heart reaches out beyond such boundaries. She promotes diversity, as I do! I encourage you to have a conversation with her about homeschooling. You’ll walk away amazed and filled with stories.

In attendance were well-spoken and learned homeschooled teens. Homeschool moms came, too. Marisa Bean, an amazing and compassionate outdoor educator as well as a veteran homeschool mom shared info about her sons and her wonderful organization, Bean in Nature. She’s not only inspired kids to learn in nature, but has also employed older teens to learn leadership. What an asset to our community. Another well-known attendee was Vivace Youth Chorus, a long-time resource whose rep announced their annual European trip. There were plenty of other resources, including academic programs and a math tutor.

In between our brief presentations (fyi: I vote to double the time for veteran homeschool parents who offer twice the resource!), parents visited our modest table set-ups to ask us questions and chat about education. Talking about education and books — two of my passions! As an aside, I always find it interesting that parents of small children attend homeschooling Q&A events. Eager to be ahead of the game, I suppose. Good for them!

As one of the many resources available in this area, I spoke of my experience with my children who deserved better than what the local school offered, about the fears that prevented me from jumping into the adventure earlier, and on my own practice of serving youth by focusing on their interests, goals, and needs without compromising standards. One delight I’ve lately realized is the ease of offering such a wide range of classes, each addressing a need that arose from a student or request from a parent: Women’s Lit, Classic Lit, Courageous Contemporary Lit, Science Fiction, Steam Punk, Journey Lit, Graphic Novel, Travel Writing, Blog Writing, and so on through the years. My writing and literature comes from a deep well.

This year, my focus will be on Personal Essay and Mystery Writing, but I’m open to hear what you need.

Connections are key. Most of what else I said or would’ve said can be found in the pages of this website, but I did want to highlight the privilege of working with a family of siblings and the notes and calls from previous students, year after year. To drive that point, I just received an email from a former student. She left my practice after being accepted to a prestigious private high school. She served as Poet Laureate for the county, and will be attending Yale in the fall. When we first met, her mom requested I accept her into my high school class. She was twelve. I admit I felt dubious. But I don’t guard gates, I believe educators must open them. Happily, she found herself a brilliant star among the brightest, most joyful, eager students that year. She writes in her email to me,

“It’s thanks to the time we spent analyzing texts like Frankenstein and Bless Me, Ultima that I feel very strongly about my passion for literature. . . . I distinctly remember how you pushed my writing to grow in every essay you handed back to me. . . I have to thank you for teaching me that literature is not, in fact, the irrelevant musings of some rotting corpse, but rather something to love and live by.

I’ll be attending Yale University this coming fall . . . I know I’ll continue to use the analytical and compositional skills I learned in your class in future studies. Thank you again for teaching me and for continuing to impact the lives of students like me. It goes a long way.

In short, the parents –such as Marisa, Stephanie and so many others — who have their children’s interest at the forefront created a community. But it’s the youth who have always made my choice to leave the classroom worth it.

Thank you to all the members of our community who have made homeschooling an enviable option for learning in the South Bay. And thank you to those learners, like Thy whose writing is above, who make every day a good day to learn. Congratulations for all your accomplishments small and large.

Your turn!
How has your community helped you succeed?
What recommendations might you give to a parent considering homeschooling?
What advice would you give to a parent struggling with homeschooling?

Beginning the personal essay: Romeo and Juliet applying to college?

Here are some questions to ask yourself:

• What do you want the reader/university to know about you?  

• What values (honesty, optimism, work ethic, flexibility, courage, friendliness?) might you reveal with the actions in your life story?  FYI: actions are the muscle of this essay.  

• What concerns/worries/fear do you have about the world and humanity– social justice, peace, climate change, racism, invention and progress? These can reveal so much about us.

• What about you is not already on your application? 

• What events in your life stand out as meaningful lessons? Can you create a list of events — stellar, painful, tragic, hopeful, and even normal and ordinary– that could reveal something about you as a human being?

• What do you see as your place in humanity?

Big questions, right?

Take one question at a time. Don’t dwell on anything, except perhaps the question of your values. Not only should every person be able to point to the core values that rule choices, values play a significant role in personal essays and narratives.

Consider the stories (fiction and non-fiction) you’ve heard or read: each one has an underlying moral to the story. We’re not necessarily talking Aesop’s-Fables-kind- of-moral, but rather a thematic, deeper meaning.

Think back to Romeo and Juliet. I know you’re thinking what does Shakespeare have to do with me? Plenty.

Note how the plot of the story focuses on how the two lovers meet, how deeply they fall in love, and what they do in an effort to come and remain together. We want plot– a somewhat logical progression of events–in our personal essays.

While I love Shakespeare’s language, that’s beside the point. Of course, some might return to the play to reread a well written line — “I defy you, stars!” (V.i) and “Do you bite your thumb at us, sir?” (I.i). No, those aren’t the most quoted lines, but they’re so integral! And strong word choice is critical in your essay. Tip: replace the weak: it, this, was, is, etc.

Some might well return to see the action — who wouldn’t love swordplay, swooning, and sweeping statements of love and hate? There’s conflict on the stage, and we’re captivated by Capulets fighting Montagues. Will there be any conflict in your personal essay?

Mostly, we continually return to Shakespeare because his plays carry meaning for humanity. What’s in this play that is worthwhile? How about love, hate, division, family? Shakespeare gives us so much to consider. What values would each character choose as most important to their lives? What values would you assign as representative of the choices they’ve made?

Returning back to your personal essay, we might see how an event in our lives can reveal what we value most. But I encourage you to dig deep to identify your most sacred values. They are the ones that help you through the tough decisions, the rough patches of life. And they’ll be plenty of those ahead in college. Search for Values on the internet. Reflect on the truths your parents have tried to impart to you.

As for me Honesty is at the top of my list. Gentle honest friends surround me. I value loyalty, but that shows up as honesty more times than not. I value connection and creativity and curiosity– inspire me and ground me. Clear communication remains vital to every valuable relationship. Each value has a story attached to it.

What are your values and what stories come up when you consider what’s important to you?

Cue the Mariachis and break out the tequila!

It’s a common enough story: to have a dream, knowing that the hard work to achieve it feels impossible. We imagine we’re starting at the bottom, but unless we’re picking strawberries, green beans, and cotton in the fields, we have no idea what bottom is.

I haven’t had to start at the bottom, thanks to mis abuelos. They had a dream and to say they worked hard and made sacrifices doesn’t do their gifts justice. To say it was only determination that led them to a good life may dismiss those that try and fail and diminish those that run into barriers in life so difficult to overcome. My abuelos were migrant farmworkers. How they were able to imagine a life beyond the dirt and scrabble of life is beyond me.

Alejandra Marquez, the director of A Million Miles Away, reminds us of the resolve and tenacity it takes to rise above.

Recently I watched Marquez’ latest movie on Prime that traces José Hernandez, a migrant farmworker born in Stockton, California, whose tenacity leads him to become an astronaut for NASA, the first migrant farmworker ever to do so. Of course, life isn’t just about hard work, and the movie soundtrack fills my heart with latino rhythm, with the sonorous voices of José Alfredo Jiménez, Juan Gabriel, Amparo Ochoa, Los Tigres and more. The music and color of la cultura made the movie a joyful experience.

“With those hands, we pick the food that people are going to have on their table and with a lot of pride.”

From A Million Miles Away

Of course, a movie with layers is more than a good soundtrack. Hands, a significant motif in the story, manifests in his father, Salvador, who asks his children to show him their hands after a day of picking lettuce. Their hands are covered with bandaids from hard work in the fields. Salvador reminds them they all are strong. Later in the movie, the camera focuses on José’s hands, the very same hands that once picked grapes, are now on the precipice of a great adventure. José looks at his hands in realization of his goal, and all of the sacrifices his father and mother made so that he could walk onto the Discovery Shuttle, up the International Space Station, to make history.

The scene acknowledges the brutal work and sacrifices of people like mis abuelos who spend a lifetime picking produce for American tables, whose hands and minds are scarred from this type of job. Fortunately, my abuela landed a job in a local cannery, moved up the ranks, and saved up to buy two homes and a business in South Sunnyvale. It also reminds me of my own debt to my mother, who worked all day, attended college at night for over ten years, studying until she graduated with her Masters in Social Work. Her sacrifices modeled for me not only what goals require, but also that I was capable of achieving them.

Family is critical in Latino culture, and with it comes family wisdom. Marquez pays respect to family over and over, even structuring the story upon the advice of Salvador Hernandez. Starting with finding the goal that suits him, José works his way up each step of this advice.

Another motif in the movie is the butterfly. This symbol resonated with me, partly because these delicate creatures with remarkable strength and determination remind me my own mom. She died over 15 years ago, and every butterfly calls forth up all she tried to teach us: compassion, perseverance, transition, hope and beauty. Butterflies are seen as magical in their transition, but our fascination belies their struggle, as this movie likely does with Hernandez’ story. Finally, given that Monarch butterflies can migrate as much as 3,000 miles or more from their North American homes to winter in warm southwestern Mexico’s forests, (something Salvador tells his son) butterflies aptly represent the long journey Hernandez makes from farmworker kid to gifted student to engineer to man in space. Watch for these reminders in the movie.

And like the Latino community who gather for support, Monarchs come together roosting in groups. While butterflies converge to avoid predators, familia do so to celebrate, to mourn, and to wrap up comida en tortillas (the latino equivalent of breaking bread). Marquez’ movie reflects la cultura de la familia focusing several times on the big group hugs, which made me long for days past when my family came for birthday parties as well as huge Christmas Eve parties with all the tíos y primos and plenty of tamales.

Clearly, the director wanted to echo the importance of family support by including the family members in the action. His father is not the only one with advice; we also hone in on his cousin, Beto, who urges his cousin to believe he is exactly the kind of man who should be sent out into space: an immigrant. (I’ll let the movie speak on that point.) Beto also prompts us to remember all those who aren’t able or capable of stepping up to some of the challenges. And of course, a story is rarely without obstacles to overcome. It is Adelita, the wife of José who features prominently and poses the most essential question when José faces self doubt, “What do they have that you don’t?”

The movie touches on racism, family conflict, and immigration, but it doesn’t dwell on these topics, which makes it a less suspenseful and rather simple story. Offering something other than the usual on TV, it was refreshingly calm. Presumably, the choices were made so younger children can watch and be inspired.

Long after the movie credits rolled by and the original photos of José Hernandez and his family flashed on the screen, memorias de mi familia came in waves. I think about our journey, the support of family, and my grandmother’s view that earning an education is a non-issue (to all those who said and still say Latinos don’t care about school). To celebrate my graduation from Stanford University, my grandmother insisted on having an old fashioned fiesta, over the top with Mariachis. I don’t like the limelight, but I confess grinning, knowing her pride of me, and even more importantly, her love had no bounds. Despite their own second grade education and barriers of race, what my grandparents accomplished — by setting in motion their goals, carving out their own roadmap, following through with vigor and passion–made possible a higher quality of life for her descendants.

I haven’t yet read what José wrote about his experiences in his book, Reaching for the Stars, but I hope to soon, as I face my own self doubts in my journey ahead. But more importantly, the story of Jose Hernandez inspires me to renew my own dream of working with young creative writers. In the fields and our neighborhoods are hoping someone will speak up for them, help them see a path from desire to achievement is possible.

¡Viva La Gente!

Finally, I found this on another site and thought it useful. I’d love to read your answers in the comments below! 5 Important Life Ingredients

• What did José learn through his journey to get into space?
• What dream do you have for the future? What’s your goal?
• Do you understand the road ahead to achieve your goal?
• What support did José have throughout his life? Can the support help you draw the roadmap?
• How does José’s desire for approval affect José’s outlook through life and the astronaut process?
• How willing are you not only to work hard, but to buck expectations, to learn all that it takes to reach your destination?

Dear Rebecca Solnit,

Thank you for this wonderful collection of essays on life and loss, and so much more in your book, A Field Guide to Getting Lost.

As an avid reader and writer, I love the deep dig of re-reading, underlining, marginalia, of pausing to ruminate. And now that reading is more often at bedtime, I confess I’ve often read and reread one of your passages to understand the words. Your writing demands more thinking than most. When a writer speaks of the “kind of resilience of the psyche” that speaks to the “rugged” brutality of our lives, a reader must take note, literally. Its meandering style allowed me to pick up the book at will which helped me incorporate the history and the memoir, the physicality and mentality, along with the meanings. Of course, the book is about being lost, and as I hoped, the experience of loss itself.

Against a multitude of positive quotes, affirmations, and platitudes that instruct us to be strong and carry on, your book waves the caution flag: difficult road ahead. This loss stuff isn’t so easy.

I suppose that’s why I honed in on your description of a butterfly’s transformation an apt metaphor. It’s one we think we’re familiar with. It’s a beautiful story we’ve come to believe.

Yet, we don’t know it at all, starting with the awareness that the process involves decay. The magic of this change is less about beauty and much more about ugliness and even violence. When the creature crawls into the chrysalis, it “digests itself, releasing enzymes to dissolve all of its tissues.” Ugh.

Change is not for the faint of heart.

After the chrysalis opens, you bring our attention to that last step of the butterfly’s transformation: leaving the shell that has offered dubious shelter. Far from the “graceful as a flower blooming” time lapse video, a tragic image is made concrete in its brutality.

Dear Xochitl Gonzalez,

I recently finished listening to the audiobook of your novel, Olga Dies Dreaming.  As other audiobooks became available, and I wasn’t at all captivated with Olga’s occupation as wedding planner to the elite, I nearly dropped the novel.  Napkin drama?  How trendy and shallow can an author be?  The stories of those who meander through lives taking little note of the world they walk through can be repulsive.

Yet, I kept reading.  I’m glad I did.  Your novel is layered with questions and meaning.

What changed my mind? For one, an unwillingness to give up on any Latina author, writing about two Latinos –puertorriqueño siblings in this case, particularly when the two are financially successful and live in privilege.  For another, like many from the old neighborhood, Pietro and Olga grapple with the way achievement can separate us from our sustaining roots.  Also, their family disorientation feels authentic (though created for the novel), and their concerns are ones most of us have.

Adding the political backdrop teased me in.  While not a fan of strictly political books, I am an avid fan of fiction with a political backdrop. Novels that raise socio-political questions keep me reading. Consider The Bean Trees. Barbara Kingsolver fosters awareness on issues of immigration, indigenous trauma, and racism.  And while some will dismiss such writing as divisive and manipulative, I truly appreciate the adept way Puerto Rico’s issues are woven into Olga and Pietro’s exploration of identity.  A dissatisfaction with wealth, a call for attention to their own disintegrating neighborhood, and a tangled concept of liberation compelled me.

Intelligent novels are often more inspiring than what passes as news. One such mismanaged media example is when the spotlight should’ve been on what Puerto Ricans needed after a hurricane. Instead, cameras and talking heads highlighted Drumpf tossing paper towels to a beleaguered crowd in Puerto Rico.  His actions so despicably clueless, if not absolutely incompetent, for someone of such rank made for cringe worthy reporting.  And was a red herring distraction leading us away from the central point. Can news even reveal what’s important to know?

Perhaps it won’t be surprising to say that I’m most often the tune-out type; neither a disaster do-gooder nor disaster porn addict, yet left wondering how to be most helpful. Disaster news overwhelms and pushes me into a pit of darkness and confusion. The same thoughts and prayers, the same scenes, the same promises.  In the case of P.R., little thought of the island inhabitants, except when hurricanes put them in the public’s eye, crossed my mind.  Yet I’ve since learned about H.R. 8393, which offers P.R. the opportunity to vote for independence. The Senate hasn’t passed the bill, and maybe a letter can provide a tangible way to support P.R. You have my admiration for giving readers insights into the lives and struggle of Americans (yes readers, P.R is America).

Speaking of status and socio-political issues, the villainy of the Selby clan and their cronies was very satisfying.  I love a good villain to despise, and their exploitive actions and entitlement made it easy to loathe them.  While weaving in the people who manipulate politics seems an obvious choice, Dick’s hypocrisy (no spoilers here) diminishes him and minimizes the impact of those who want to and could possibly make a difference.   Certainly, all of them propose a thwarted view of helping our fellow man.

Of course, everyone has dirty hands—even those who stand helplessly by (like I do) in a significant crisis.  The main characters aren’t perfect.  You are very clear that their mother, Blanca, isn’t either.  Her manipulations remind me a bit of my abuela.  While many mothers are guilty of manipulating their children, especially Latina ones, and I certainly have been told I can craft quite a respectable guilt trip, Blanca takes her desire for parental influence to a new level.

Most provocatively, Olga Dies Dreaming turns the usual matriarchal model of loving mother on its ear.  But I admit, I was torn, wanting her kids to see her passion and commitment to improve life for their countrymen.  Isn’t sacrifice for others noble?  Aren’t parents supposed to want more for their children?  She tells Pietro, that “even people who were once your sails can become your anchors.” Indeed, our hopes can tie down our children, and before they can live their dream, they will need to slip off the chains of expectation, and listen to their own hearts.

As the story continues, the missives from Blanca unfolds a disturbing view and an extreme impact of parental expectations. What’s even more brilliant (to me as a writer) is the use of this epistolary device which allows Blanca to remain distant from us, the reader, while echoing same in her relationship with her kids.

One last note on parental relationships, the siblings’ reaction to their mother helped me sort out some possibilities for my own story, including recognizing the role of generational trauma and my own desperate attempts to be considered worthy of my father’s attention.

In a branch of absent parents comes the family that still holds a place for Olga and Pietro. They are fortunate.  And thus, the book holds a hopeful tone. While I appreciate my siblings for many things, when it comes to processing my father, they offer no shoulder.   And as I reread all of my father’s poems and letters as a way of understanding him, so many questions remain unanswered, so much pain remains.  Like these two orphaned adults, I’m trying to figure out where home lies.

Underlying discordant notes (of class, racism, imperialism, radical activism) are part of the whole picture. And along with origins and dreams, you remind us how these merits deep examination. We can benefit from hearing this music before we can realize true growth. 

While little of this sounds light and funny, Olga Dies Dreaming traces an inevitable superficiality of the upper classes, and those that upwardly climb, all of whom forget the benefits from previous generations’ hard work and sacrifice. Of course, you make us laugh, if even squirm, at Olga and Pietro’s bumbling attempts to be comfortable with coveted success.  And because both possess a strong need to be good and authentic people, yours is a fun read.  

Final note for readers:  the origin of the title. Olga Dies Dreaming led me to the work of Puerto Rican poet, Pedro Pietri best known for “Puerto Rican Obituary” in which writes about the sacrifices made to become someone else. “Puertorriquenos are a beautiful race” indeed.

Thank you.  Pietri’s work is worth reading, and so is your book.

#letters_to_authors

Writers (artists) are like scientists.

(Thank you to Andrew Simonet for the reminder)

We listen to the world to hear what it needs.

We begin with meaningful questions about something we don’t know.

We follow a process of inquiry and problem solving.

We question assumptions.

We are resourceful.

We work hard.

Please do not dismiss what we do as “talent” when what we do requires hard work.

We search for truth and evidence to support our ideas.

We claim the space in our labs or studios for our research.

We are discerning, far-sighted and wise.

We share the most relevant answers and questions.

We persist.

We know a negative can very much have a positive result.

We possess many skills and the meta-skill of learning what it takes.

We cannot be truly stopped by a government or system, art and truth can be sidelined, but never silenced completely.

We are the truth-tellers, the liars, the one who point out the liars and warn you to watch your back.

We are deserving of respect — financial and otherwise.

We are much more than marketable product makers.

We have our hands in the everyday things, made by not only a scientist and the scientific method, but also an artist and artistic process.

We make meaning of the spiritual, the political, and the emotional chunks of the human experience.  

We are permanent residents of the world.

We make meaning of the spiritual, the political, and the emotional chunks of the human experience.  

We are permanent residents of an impermanent world.

THE WHY:

While traveling through a foreign land with my family, I established a custom, a rule of sorts, perhaps I’d go so far as to call it a manifesto: Always pay for the music.

Everytime, we’d pass street musicians, we’d lean over and drop a Euro or two into their hat, cup or instrument case. I felt it was the least we could do for the pleasure of hearing them play, for their hard work in learning and courage in performing. The kids enjoyed taking turns doing what they felt was a worldly duty. Even now, at home, I make an effort when I cross paths with a busker, someone trying to make a living at providing a soundtrack to the story of our lives. I drop in a buck. My budget can’t always afford more, so I use libraries and free passes. But when I can, I pay for the work they do.

While attending a writer summit, I was reminded of this practice as I listened to Andrew Simonet speak about art and artists. The above was inspired by his talk at the summit, and made more clear by looking at his work on Artist U, a project that asserts that artists can come together to change the working conditions of artists by opening up resources to artists. Support local artists.

Your turn:

What have you learned from art and artists?

What might persuade you to write a note, comment, letter to an artist?

What needs of the world can you/have you addressed recently?

How are you an artist?

Never Give Up, Never Surrender

This line from Galaxy Quest, a parody of Star Trek, is one my favorite family quotes often because it sums up the drive we admire.

But I admit there are good reasons to quit.

I wanted to leave a day early– truth be told, the thought took up residence as soon as we pulled in to #51. But sometimes, I convince myself that I’ve misjudged the situation and need to have a bit of faith. I can do this, I tell myself. It’s a sunk cost issue which means sometimes I really to need to put my gear in decision mode and head in a different direction. Alas I don’t, because I’m not a quitter. I don’t give up.

One Hot Dog Resting in the Heat.

The latter was true in this case. I probably should’ve quit. But I do enjoy camping and kids having fun is usually a joyful sound. But in scorching temps –96F, joy is a unachievable. My face changes from red to blue. My brain stops, my muscles flop and my spirit sags. I loathe the heat and irritation fills every pore of my being when overheat.

So why didn’t I leave when the campsite had little shade, the construction crews and their machines buzzed away on the septic tanks project, and the over fifty kids who had gathered for Eco-learning campouts could be heard over 400 yards away between 7:30 am – 10 am and 3 pm – 10 pm. ?

I felt miserable. Had I only known the temp would increase.

Was Pinnacles, which had been a viable camping site in the past, a major strike out?

We stayed. Here’s why.

I needed a vacation. No wifi meant no cell phones, no laptop work, nothing to do (thought that also meant my library audiobook that I failed to download wouldn’t play), but let go.

I needed some magic. The stars that filled the sky were bountiful and mystical. Fortunately, the camp grew still and quiet, after 10 p.m. Since we decided to leave off the torn tent canopy, I could see the stars through the screen at the top of the tent when I woke up in the middle of the cricket filled night.

I needed a bit of Mother Earth. While I usually prefer redwoods grown in soft dirt or beach, I appreciated the sounds of birds, the brush, the immense oaks, and the crickets. The red rocks of the pinnacles that shoot up into a blue sky are worth a trip (just not on a scorching day). And watching quails and rabbits dart from the bushes reminded me that this place is for them, not me.

And there was more . . .

The team work: My spouse and I are an effective team with plenty of experience camping. He dives into the rhythm of camping and I’m in awe of his energy. His constant movement reminds me how lucky I am to have such a man in my life.

The pool: I’m 100% positive that without refreshing dips into clear, cold water, I could not have lasted more than an afternoon. One plunge provided what I needed for about an hour’s worth of lounging, reading and will power to remain. Two or three plunges rescued an entire afternoon and early evening. If the pool had been open in the evening, I’m not sure I could have been persuaded to leave.

Read more: Never Give Up, Never Surrender

Great Oaks at Pinnacles

The people: Very rare were the faces bent over on a screen. Instead, we waved or nodded as we passed each other. We sat down and chatted. I met Margaret, an older woman in very good shape, who invited me over to an empty lounge chair. I met Erin, a young travel nurse with interesting tattoos and stories of where she’d travelled and still planned to visit. I met a young woman from Holland who was in the States for a few months, whose next trip would include one of my very favorite California spots- Big Sur. I assured she’d find cooler temps and breath giving redwood trees. I met two different men on a father-son trip with their adult sons. One of these father son couples, giving me a lifeline to ignore the yelling and shouting, played soothing guitar music in their campsite. I met a friendly older italian man, a regular at poolside, his cross glinting from the sun. And I met a couple from Berkeley, the woman who had hiked at 7 am, when I’d shown interest in her van, invited me to peek in, even offering to hold my dog’s leash.

When we finally packed up and headed out, no one could be happier. I hadn’t quit too soon.

It felt weird to be back in the land of web connection, phone calls, and texts. It was a let down to leave without truly relaxing in a quiet place of nature.

But the best thing about leaving home is often returning. We pulled a few things from the car, deciding the full unpack and wash could wait. I fully enjoyed the water pressure of my own shower, washing the dust and sweat out of my hair, then I embraced the air cooled by breezes off the bay coming through the open windows. Finally, I turned off the phones, locked the doors, pushed away the world for one more afternoon, and let sleep overtake me.

Four hours of delicious surrender.

Pinnacles proved to be a worthy foe. . .er. . . .place of nature, but . . . . .It’s good to be home.

Your Turn:

• When have you felt like giving up or surrendering to a situation?
• Where’s your favorite place to rejuvenate?
• What sums up something about your family or personal philosophy?
• What’s your favorite about travelling?

Garth Nix’s Visit to Fans

I first read Sabriel, many years ago and became enchanted with the storytelling of Garth Nix. I can still recall the dangers his main character faces, her power, and the paperwings that magically carried passengers. Her battle with Death and the dark secrets that compelled me long ago, still linger.

I’ve been reading per usual, like a madwoman addicted to words. There’s few, if any, better ways to inspire good writing.

This year I promised my writer self that I’d go to more author talks, writing retreats, etc. When Garth Nix’s name popped up at a nearby bookstore to talk books, I snapped up a ticket. Before the event, I borrowed his most recent book, The Lefthanded Booksellers of London, from the local library. It was a romp of a book much lighter in tone than Sabriel. It’s a bit of the silliness of Dr. Who mashed with British spy stories, with the decidedly light flavor of Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, and a dash of fantastical creatures and ancient magic a la Neil Gaiman.

I plowed quickly through the story of Susan, who is trying to find her father, and Merlin, a very fashion forward keeper of magic (not at all the old wizard in the Arthur series) who helps her. Nix name-drops authors, poets, and playwrights which makes the book even more fun. His characters are intelligent, adaptable, and because we recognize them– so we must be those things too. Most importantly, the names weave together the real and unreal, the historical and the present.

To Read an excerpt

I’m not sure what I was expecting but when I heard Garth Nix talk, I felt immediately at ease. He has that endearing australian lift at the end of a sentence, and he seems at ease talking about his work, his family, and his characters. Honestly, he felt like being home, much like a typical dad might seem. Or maybe he reminded me of my dad.

The bookstore audience praised his strong female characters and the interviewer covered the usual questions, though if she talked a bit less than he could’ve talked more. I longed to ask him more questions and hear him read a bit. Among other things, I’d love to have heard about his inspiration for Merlin’s ease with dresses and suits. What with Transgender Day of Visibility being March 30th, and so many youth I work with choosing to be gender fluid and wishing to flip gender norms, I found the character quite refreshingly matter of fact about his interest in a wide range of fashion. I wanted to express praise for creating such a remarkable, likeable, intelligent character in Merlin and his sister, Vivan — another strong female character.

Finally, those present agreed that we’d love to see his books, namely this one, on film. Sadly, Hollywood hasn’t recognized the value (and the author’s terms) quite yet, but there are discussions happening.

Fortunately, Nix has another book for readers to dive into. The Sinister Bookseller of Bath is definitely on my list for summer reads! This book begins with a young man “running panicked in the dark instinctively headed towards the Abbey. . . . Something immensely strong had grabbed him in the darkness, lifting him” from where he sat thinking mundane thoughts.

Reading fuels my writing. I can hardly wait to find out about the young man, see what Merlin and crew are up to.

Your Turn

• What about your reading or author favs?
• What books read long ago still stick with you?
• What promises have you made to your best self?
• What are you doing to become a better writer, if that applies?
• Have you read any of Garth Nix’s books? Or do you have another author to recommend?

Making Life Visible

I’m at an exciting part. Deep into the story of Addie LaRue, I push away everyone and everything just so my eyes remain on the page (or earbuds in the ears). I want to know what happens to the cursed Addie as she walks through life invisible and forgettable to all but . . . Uh, no. No spoilers here.

My creative writers are at an exciting place, too.

They’ve written a series of exciting things happening, of characters meeting swords to beasts, and suspenseful moments climbing toward the peak of a story. None of which is easy. Working through the challenges to make their characters visible and memorable, they have set down words, a story, an adventure, rhe writers bring their pages ready to share, eager to share aloud and hear some feedback. And I’m eager to read what they’ve written!

The plot is evident. But lately, amidst fantastic twists and crazy turns, I’ve been wondering about their characters. How can they become invested in these characters? Are they real enough, do we care enough, to keep reading?

In the fall, I asked my students, “Imagine a monster breaking through the fence. It attacks a group member. What do you do? Would you run or fight?” We agree they’d probably run away screaming. Then I ask what changes if the attack is their best friend (we work at friendships in group, but it takes a bit of time). The response comes with “Sure, I’d help him/her.” We work our way through various scenarios that changes the shrug to a physical response: a karate pose, two fists up, a brief scan for a possible weapon– a branch, a flower pot? What will it take to move us to stay and fight? Do we know enough about someone to risk our time and energy? What if they are the only person who knows where the treasure is hidden?

The point is to create characters we are willing to fight for, so our readers will be willing to read on.

While plotting out a story can be made easier with various tools, it’s tougher to create a character we actually care about. How do story creators pull on heartstrings?

One easy way is to show your character being nice to younger kids, to the loner at school, and to animals (especially, cats, dogs and horses). Another easy way is to give him/her a positive flaw. Maybe a character is too honest and that leads to trouble (see Schooled by Gordon Korman). Or perhaps he is poor and dutiful, but can’t afford what he wants, so he must work hard to earn enough (see Where the Red Fern Grows). Maybe she is curious and intelligent, but she lives during a time when women, especially young ones, are limited in their choices — we know she’ll face challenges!

Others ways are giving characters a flaw, a habit of misjudgment, a sticking point. Authors must give characters plenty of good traits but perfection is dull. So we give the hard worker or the curious, a flaw of rationalizing their obvious mistakes. Or perhaps she has to pay for the one mistake all of her life, in the case of Addie LaRue who made a deal with the dark. Or Jean Val Jean in Les Miserables who is pursued for one indiscretion. Every reader knows a good book that has both a character who inspires caring and also has room to grow.

In fact, the world is full of characters we want to read, and very few of them are perfect specimens of humanity. We read to see how they cope with the missteps and obstacles. A single flaw won’t make a character readable. Ultimately, we enjoy a character who lies to himself.

We know about lying. All of the adults in our lives told us not to lie, so we avoid the nasty habit as much as possible. Choosing carefully how we step through minefields of white lies and rationalizations. Yet we lie to ourselves all the time. And what’s more troubling is we can believe the lies we tell ourselves.

Recognize any of these?

• I’m too busy to . . ./ I just don’t have the time to . . . .
• I’m too old/too young/too fat/to slow to . . . .
• People leave, so I shouldn’t get attached.
• I will never be as good at . . . as . . .
• I need to be in control or something will go wrong.
• I always fail at . . .
• If I could only be/have/etc. … I’d be happy

We lie when we tell ourselves that nothing we do will make the winter holidays less stressful, that the family dinner next month is going to be a disaster, or that we’ll never fall in love. One of my favorite lies that non-parents tell is that kids are so easy to raise! My sister-in-law once told me that all kids need is clothes, food and shelter. Having her own has challenged that mythical mindset.

Lies can be deeply rooted in our psyche and DNA, and if we examine recent studies about trauma, we find that they travel through generations. It’s possible, though I’ve yet to meet anyone that hasn’t faced hardship, grief, fear, doubt, regret and anger or been wounded, experienced loss or felt trauma. In which case, you can consider yourself lucky. But even if you’ve made it through the teen years without scars, just remember your reader is not likely to have been so lucky.

To be clear, this isn’t about a decidedly skewed sense of reality, of hallucinations and the like– though a character may have some serious problems– and the genre may demand such. This idea isn’t about going from good to evil. And while this is certainly not a post about psychoanalyzing yourself, we can and must analyze our characters!

The truth of the human subconscious is it’s mucky. What’s up with the nice guy who anticipates that Jill would turn him down. We authors must go into the swampy mess of the human psyche if we are to find out why the princess doesn’t think she’ll a good ruler. Sure he’s not wealthy. And yes, she can’t help turning people to ice. Go deeper. Go to the fundamental lie: Does the nice guy think no one will love him? That he is unworthy because only wealth makes worth. Does the princess believe that leaders aren’t capable of cruelty? More importantly, do they believe that they can never change?

Not only do many characters who have little confidence reject change, they commonly believe that they can’t be happy until X happens.

All too often we humans believe the same.

False beliefs, or the fancy way that psychology labels the lies we tell ourselves– Cognitive Distortions–show the power of the mind to mislead which makes them a powerful tool in creative writing. Take Catastrophizing, or what we call when a person exaggerates the effect of everything to extremes. They can lead us to go from one poor exam grade to a lifetime of boring jobs in less than five minutes. In one of my favorite novels, a mother of five daughters not only believes marrying her daughters off the only sacred duty of motherhood, but also rejecting a proposal will result in a life of poverty for her and her daughters (Pride and Prejudice). When Mrs. Bennet’s daughter rejects a valid proposal, her demeanor cascades into a dreadful fit of drama.

Or how about a character who only sees things in black and white or extreme opposites, Polarized Thinking. What juicy situations may an author create that will easily lead him to stubbornly dig in! Or perhaps, he’ll be indecisive –after all, all or nothing means every choice in life can be too big of a commitment. One of my own characters has been convinced that the only man that can truly help her is her biggest enemy. Her own Filtering — the magnifying of the negative while ignoring the positive– traps her, renders her unable to change course. If every piece of evidence confirms her false belief, what will change her mind?

How might someone with a cognitive distortion, such as Mind-Reading or Fortune-Telling react when put in a situation that demands them to look at life differently? Can we understand a character who evades responsibility and blames others for every mistake?

Of course, we don’t have to know that these false beliefs are cognitive distortions (unless we want to work our way through them) to place them in stories, but knowing them can helps us grow both as writers and human beings.

Would it be possible for young writers who learn about the human psychology of creating authentic characters to gain awareness of their own mindsets? As we apply what we’ve learned to our characters, might we begin to see how our limitations lead to struggling against the fire-breathing dragons outside and the dark beasts inside. Of course, I’m here to open up possibilities, but every one of us must work through our own dragons and take charge of our own journeys to change.

And when it comes to arming my creative writers, I’m going to give them whatever tools I find effective. The main takeaway will be we don’t just want characters to face and overcome challenges, wielding a sword or swinging fists. We don’t just want to see they grow — an imperative for a tasty tale– we must care about them enough to see them through to the end, begging for more even when we arrive at the last page.

Here’s a few interesting places to read more on the web

• link to cognitive distortions
• formal link to cog distortions
• link of lies and plot structure

Your turn! Share your answers in the comments

What tools might you suggest to create authentic characters?  
What do you know about cognitive distortions?
What false beliefs do your characters have? 
What false beliefs are you working to change in your own life?